micropoetry by david serjeant
This is great Dave. It takes me back many years to my grandparents fields. Usually chicken feathers though! Thanks for the journey.
Oh ... I could really hear this, and feel it, and see it ... thanks.
Love this poem!after a night ripped apartby the quarrelling foxesthe dawnsoundless and softas the cockerel’s feathers Could be a 4 line haiku if done like this:after a night ripped apartby the quarrelling foxesthe dawnsoundless and softThat "the" in the second line really works, glad you didn't edit it out.or a tanka?after a night ripped apartby the quarrelling foxesthe dawnsoundless and softthe cockerel’s feathers all my best,AlanWith Words.
Hi Alanthanks for the suggestions - look out for it in the next Blithe Spirit.I included the cockerel's feathers of course, because the explanation of the soundless dawn and the quarreling foxes was evident all over my allotment plot later that day.
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4 comments:
This is great Dave. It takes me back many years to my grandparents fields. Usually chicken feathers though! Thanks for the journey.
Oh ... I could really hear this, and feel it, and see it ... thanks.
Love this poem!
after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft
as the cockerel’s feathers
Could be a 4 line haiku if done like this:
after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft
That "the" in the second line really works, glad you didn't edit it out.
or a tanka?
after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft
the cockerel’s feathers
all my best,
Alan
With Words
.
Hi Alan
thanks for the suggestions - look out for it in the next Blithe Spirit.
I included the cockerel's feathers of course, because the explanation of the soundless dawn and the quarreling foxes was evident all over my allotment plot later that day.
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