30 June 2010

after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft
as the cockerel’s feathers

4 comments:

Paul Smith said...

This is great Dave. It takes me back many years to my grandparents fields. Usually chicken feathers though! Thanks for the journey.

MLA said...

Oh ... I could really hear this, and feel it, and see it ... thanks.

Alan Summers said...

Love this poem!

after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft
as the cockerel’s feathers


Could be a 4 line haiku if done like this:

after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft


That "the" in the second line really works, glad you didn't edit it out.

or a tanka?

after a night ripped apart
by the quarrelling foxes
the dawn
soundless and soft
the cockerel’s feathers


all my best,

Alan
With Words
.

Dave Serjeant said...

Hi Alan

thanks for the suggestions - look out for it in the next Blithe Spirit.

I included the cockerel's feathers of course, because the explanation of the soundless dawn and the quarreling foxes was evident all over my allotment plot later that day.

all works are copyright, © David Serjeant. If you plan to use any of the work here, I will probably have no problem with that if you credit me as the author, link to this blog and let me know first. Thank you!

background image: beeley moor spin photo © David Serjeant