tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965440206248248651.post102848944770906615..comments2024-01-08T06:45:59.990+00:00Comments on distant lightning: Dave Serjeanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06479441346697423799noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965440206248248651.post-42258282088867117382010-08-19T22:51:28.410+01:002010-08-19T22:51:28.410+01:00Hi Alan
thanks for the suggestions - look out for...Hi Alan<br /><br />thanks for the suggestions - look out for it in the next Blithe Spirit.<br /><br />I included the cockerel's feathers of course, because the explanation of the soundless dawn and the quarreling foxes was evident all over my allotment plot later that day.Dave Serjeanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06479441346697423799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965440206248248651.post-68798246499433707332010-08-16T17:40:52.263+01:002010-08-16T17:40:52.263+01:00Love this poem!
after a night ripped apart
by the...Love this poem!<br /><br /><i>after a night ripped apart<br />by the quarrelling foxes<br />the dawn<br />soundless and soft<br />as the cockerel’s feathers </i><br /><br />Could be a 4 line haiku if done like this:<br /><br /><i>after a night ripped apart<br />by the quarrelling foxes<br />the dawn<br />soundless and soft</i><br /><br />That "the" in the second line really works, glad you didn't edit it out.<br /><br />or a tanka?<br /><br /><i>after a night ripped apart<br />by the quarrelling foxes<br />the dawn<br />soundless and soft<br />the cockerel’s feathers </i><br /><br />all my best,<br /><br />Alan<br /><a href="http://www.withwords.org.uk" rel="nofollow">With Words</a><br />.Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965440206248248651.post-26629836851862755712010-07-08T21:41:33.286+01:002010-07-08T21:41:33.286+01:00Oh ... I could really hear this, and feel it, and ...Oh ... I could really hear this, and feel it, and see it ... thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-965440206248248651.post-51690319647528191872010-07-01T21:23:13.393+01:002010-07-01T21:23:13.393+01:00This is great Dave. It takes me back many years to...This is great Dave. It takes me back many years to my grandparents fields. Usually chicken feathers though! Thanks for the journey.Paul Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14956559361042183430noreply@blogger.com