24 August 2010

Hello everybody, I thought it was about time to try my hand at a haibun. The fine details are still in my head, I just wanted to see if these pieces stand up...


cupped in her hands
a fairy -
spider's web thistledown


the mare's nostrils
seek their target
rising
from the pushchair
gentle chuckles

5 comments:

John McDonald said...

delightful David

Gillena Cox said...

Dave my first visit
i'm reading 2 distinct forms in the post,

the first poem a haiku, the second a tanka both well written poems;

The Haibun is a combination of prose and haiku; traditionally written in present tense

much love
gillena

ImageNations said...

I am not one to judge. All I know is that a haibun is prose writing, mostly in the present, interspersed with haiku.

Is the second piece a tanka

Devika Jyothi said...

as far as genus and form of poetry is concerned....you would know more than me, David :)

i like both, the second one made me laugh...i'm not sure if a tanka should be doing that :)
i thought tanka conveys a deeper thought or emotion, and could be about nature and seasons too,


wishes,
devika

Dave Serjeant said...

Hi folks, thanks for the comments. Details of the haibun prose are still in my head, the poems are in first draft.

A good point Devika.

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